It’s been a while but now I’m back… For anyone that would like to read any of my October-December output on Intertoto Magazine here are some links.
Dec 10- Media Ashes, 2DayFM Scandal
Nov 29- Getting Home From Auburn
Nov 22- Starting A Race Riot In The Name of Art
Nov 20- Nakagin Interview
Nov 18- Skyfall Review
Nov 11- MCM: A French Rap Education For An Australian Kid
Nov 7- Election 2012: 3.5 Stars
Nov 5- Why The Melbourne Cup Makes Me Hate Australia
Nov 5- The Tale Of Tila Tequila And Her Tin Foil Hat
Oct 31- The Un-Necessary Cash Grab Killing Facebook
October 30- The Finer Things In Life: Tim Snape
So the Olympics start tomorrow. I promised I would write more about them but like the hippy in the shitty 80s teen movie I just want to freak you put and mess with your minds a bit. That’s why I have decided my pre opening ceremony blog will not be about how teary I get when I see someone from a war torn shithole win gold for weightlifting or how excited I am to see Blur play at the closing ceremony. This post is about social networking on the Internet. Deal with it.
The first time I ever used some kind of social networking app was towards the end of the 20th century. It was ICQ and I was about 14. I would spend hours on it talking to girls I didn’t have the balls to speak to in person. I was a very awkward teenager. When I see teenage boys with any modicum of swagger I instantly assume they are future Patrick Bateman’s and if they don’t get offered the cha cha cha they’ll take it anyway. Basically I was so insecure and afraid of rejection that to approach any girl in the cold reality of real life was way too much of an ask. ICQ was the perfect outlet for the awkward and horny teenager. One could chat to a girl you kind of knew and it felt natural because you are at home and you don’t need to think about how you look, sound or act.
For those who never used ICQ it was just a chat device. Exactly the same as Facebook Chat but it looked like shit and it was prone to spam attacks. After a while I started using MSN messenger and that was far more user friendly. By the MSN days I had lost my man virginity and didn’t really feel those old inhibitions holding me back. MSN became more of a communication tool I would use to keep in touch with people I had met on internet forums and through various blogs I was writing for. It was simple and spam free and it didn’t look like a truckers jizz rag.
Anyway that all happened for a while and everyone was happy. One could make friends on the Internet and keep in touch with them through an instant messenger program or you could simply chat with friends and relatives without the use of a phone.
Then the darkness came.
It was a whole new thing. Public profiles with music and different colours and all that nonsense which just seems silly now. People could express who they really were online. Hell they even made you rank your friends, which is something to this day I find really perverse. Everyone did it though. Even me.
Everyone would volunteer personal information just so they could give an idea of themselves to people. Marital status, age, favourite bands, movies and quotes and all that. People wanted to show off how cool and awesome they were. You could even get sweet wallpapers to ‘pimp’ your site.
MySpace was cool for a while until Facebook came along and destroyed it. Facebook took the ‘social network’ elements of MySpace and expanded on it while making the layout much faster and a hell of a lot nicer to look at. Some people (former MySpace users) accused Facebook of lacking personality but those were the dickheads with the zebra print background image and their top 22 friends ranked in order from BBBFF to BBFF to BFF to just F, so we’ll forget about them. Facebook’s success is purely down to the fact that it became so popular. People the world over were frantically taking down pictures of themselves jacking meth into their eyeballs two years ago because their parents or grandparents just joined up. Everyone was on it and if they have known you at some stage in life (they didn’t have to like you) then you were socially obliged to be friends with them. It became the done thing. Again most people volunteered their personal info (relationship status, age, locale) as well as hundreds and hundreds of random photos. Basically the CIA’s wettest, filthiest dreams come true.
In my experience the worst thing about Facebook is the plethora of awkward social situations that would never have normally happened in the good old days are now just a click away. I shudder to think how many fights occur on Facebook Chat or how many people can have their dirty laundry sniffed and caressed by several hundred friends and acquaintances. Oh yeah and the cyber bullying people are always on about. It’s not cool. At the risk of sounding like some zit faced Orwell fan, Orwell predicted something like this. It’s happening and its worse than anyone ever imagined!
Anyway so I currently use Facebook and I feel it has become a necessity in my life in the same way having a mobile phone is a necessity. For all its fucked up evils, Facebook is a great communication tool.
Twitter on the other hand I see as a much more enjoyable indulgence.
If you want to see what your best buds, lets call them Travis and Skeeter, got up to on their recent trip to Cancun or whatever, use Facebook. If you want to hear Salman Rushdie’s opinions on American gun laws or read stupid shit footballers say then use Twitter.
NOTE: Also seems to work if you are a rapper and you want to sell your new line of alcoholic sorbets/condoms/iPad cases etc.
I enjoy twitter because I prefer the format of following people rather than being socially obligated to be ‘friends’ with people you couldn’t give two shits about (nobody in particular incase any of my Facebook friends are reading and think what I’m saying is about them, its not.)
Twitter also allows you to be part of conversations which nobody but people of the same interests need to follow as opposed to a Facebook newsfeed where you just have anything posted put in front of you just because someone you know has posted it. That being said, the Facebook newsfeed is an amazing tool to have if you want to detect racists, lunatics or psychopaths among people you know. I should start a Facebook group called ‘That moment when you think you know someone and you think they are ok then they post some shit about “wishing the fuckin chinks would fuck right off” on their Facebook status and you notice that you are friends with proper racists’. Maybe not. Not very catchy is it?
Where social networking will be in five years is a mystery only time can solve. However if history is to be a guide then we are mega fucked. You will be able to live inside Facebook and Twitter and Facebook and Twitter will live inside all of us as if it were a vital organ. Your heart will miss a beat every single time a promoter for a club you don’t even like in a completely different city invites you to something you are completely not interested in going to. Your mind will throb every time someone posts a video proving Nicki Minaj is Illuminati. Personally a tear will fall from my eye every time someone likes a photo of something funny just because a stranger told them to like it. Oh I could go on but it just makes me sad…
I know its been a while but here I have made a new podcast. Just a few tracks. Hope you can relate.
Bruce Haack – Requiem
Isley Brothers – Sensuality
Electric Wire Hustle – Perception
Action Bronson – Cocoa Butter
Kool Keith – Regular Girl
Cee Lo – Evening News
Anita Baker – Been So Long
Jaylib – Starz
Mr. Muthafuckin eXquire – Huzzah!
The Weekend – Life Of The Party
Delroy Wilson – Loving You Is Sweeter Than Ever
Broadcast – Winter Now
Beck – Nobody’s Fault But My Own
Well I have had a fucking nightmare of a week. I wont go into details but basically this blog has become something I really haven’t had the energy to invest in. Life can be crazy sometimes and sometimes you only have yourself to blame.
Fortunately things seem to be getting back on track.
So tomorrow I attend my first proper production meeting for our upcoming football chat show called FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL! Nick, the shows lead anchor and spiritual guru has some experience in broadcasting. Him and Ben (the other anchor) have a fantastic radio show on 2SER Sydney. They talk about local music, have great banter and take the piss out of ultra serious musos. It’s refreshing considering that the music world is either full of arse-kissers or haters. This is a show which exposes music people work hard on and should be heard yet they still manage to have fun with it.
Anyway..This new Internet TV show and website will feature me as a semi regular guest/presenter, writer and pundit. It’s a dream come true. I have always thought being a sportscaster would be pretty cool and that is why we are doing it. We don’t have a budget or anything like that but we have some good people working on this project which we hope will add something new to the world of light sports entertainment. If we can all get rich from it too that would be tops*.
*Note: Its football so it’s ok to sell out.
I watch a fair bit of football as anyone who knows me or reads this blog would know already. The football doesn’t just stop when the final whistle is blown either. Any true obsessive will have at least two main websites bookmarked which they check several times a day. For me it is Football365, BBC and ESPN Soccernet. Football365 mainly covers English Premier League football (my main footballing interest) and they possess some of the finest writers in the game. One of their main writers, Nick Miller, is a very insightful guy who is worth at least one LOL per paragraph. He is also one of the reasons I started writing again and that kind of humorous way of discussing football is something the team behind FFF will be keeping in mind when it comes time to write some shit.
BBC is obviously a bit drier but as they are the BBC everything is up to date and accurate. The same can be said for ESPN.
There are also the bloggers. Andrew Thomas does a fantastic job on his Twisted Blood blog. Another Nick Miller kind of character, he knows his shit and he is funny. When you read that blog you feel he is talking to you over a beer and you aren’t getting some kind of minute-by-minute yawnfest report. There are a whole bunch of other blogs I read on a semi regular basis but Twisted Blood is probably the main one. There are also many people on twitter that have opinions worth listening to.
Where am I going with this? Well I am now starting to freak out a bit because although I do spend a lot of my day reading about football, watching football, talking about football and thinking about football, from tomorrow I will have to do the exact same thing but 10x more than I am now. Nick and I have just purchased footballfootballfootball.com.au and every day I will be required to write at least 2,000 words on what is going on in the world of football. There will be no time for personal dramas and five-day benders. I must now stay on the straight and narrow not just because it’s good for me but because football needs me to.
I wont be doing this alone. We will have regular contributors offering their expert opinions from laptops all over Sydney. In saying that we now have to run a frequently updated football website and write, record and edit a weekly TV show funded simply by our love for the game and our dreams of Internet stardom. Hard work awaits.
So friends, when everything is up please watch the show. Tell your friends. If you don’t find it funny pretend that you do and post it on Facebook. If you do find it funny and you know someone who wants to give us money to do it, hook us up.
In the meantime. Sit back and take in the world before FOOTBALL FOOTBALL FOOTBALL. Shit is about to change.