Tagged: team gb

ADDICTION #1: Olympiad

Sailing…even that looks tasty right now. I’m so hungry. Its like that Olympic torch is a massive fucking cone piece burning the sweetest sensimilla into my gasping lungs.

I like how genuine and well spoken the sailors are. Australia just won gold. Three in two days. The English reporters are patronizing us. ‘I’m sure you will be on the front page of every paper in Australia tomorrow’. Oh please. Other things happen in Australia other than sailors winning medals. Just because you have a sweet Olympic team does not mean you can treat us like Tunisia. We beat you in everything a decade ago and we’ll do it again. Now fuck off.

Speaking of fuck off, how about Usain Bolt. He is fuck off fast isn’t he? I like the fact that Jamaican people are the fastest people in the world. Bolt is so good that I am scared if he does get this trial at Man U that he will end up being the greatest footballer of all time. He is the Kanye of athletics. I want to hate him but he is just too good.

One thing I did hear about Usain Bolt is that he has fifteen advisors. What the fuck does Usain Bolt need fifteen advisors for? I can see him having an agent, a manager, a few coaches, a media advisor, a couple of security guards, a few homies and some crumpet, but I don’t see what he needs fifteen advisors for.

There is far too much of a break between events in the Decathlon. Yeah I get they are the masters of Track & Field but there is no need for the break. They should do one thing after another. The break makes them look weak.

There is a melancholy to the Track and Field events at the Olympics. A melancholy which comes from the fact that the Track and Field not only represents the fastest and most skilled on a dry, outdoor surface, but the final week of the Olympic Games. It’s the business end of the season. It is the climax of the action movie. The volcano scene in You Only Live Twice. The penalty shootout at the end of England v Argentina at France 98. I need to get my fix before my dealer dies and turns into Underbelly. I don’t care what I watch. Water polo is okay with me. The more synchronized swimming the better. Field Hockey? It’ll have to do. Just give it to me. I’m a fiend yo. Give me that sugar.

When the Olympics end things are going to be more normal. Diving will be associated with depression and self-pity instead of grace and precision. Gold will represent a witty remark rather than a nation uniting achievement. Its how things are supposed to be.

Things are real silly at the moment but it’s going to be over soon. Either enjoy it while it lasts or shut the fuck up. This is the time for glory. Either link up or shut up. See you next week..

ANOTHER OLYMPICS POST (TEAM GB ft ANDY MURRAY)

 

I’m writing this from my couch while semi-watching Andy Murray vs. Roger Federer battle it out for the Men’s Tennis gold medal. Although this is just one of the many medal events at London 2012 it is also, perhaps, one of the most significant for the host nation. As I write Murray is up one set to love and 2-0 up in the second set. Less than a month ago Federer beat Murray in the Wimbledon final but now, the day after perhaps the most glorious day for British sport since England lifted the Football World Cup in 1966, Andy Murray is all over R-Fed and if it keeps going like this Great Britain will have another gold medal to add to the tally. Federer is playing like he is scared. Scared of Murray. Scared of the crowd. Scared of Britain. If Federer, who is probably the greatest man to have ever played the sport, wins this, I will be extremely surprised. I will also be pretty disappointed.

 

Unlike us Aussies, the British don’t really know what glory feels like these days. It’s been nearly half a century since anything like this has happened to them.

 

They won three gold medals on Saturday night. I remember the jubilation of Sydney 2000 when we smashed those arrogant American closet gay frat boys in the pool then the next week had Cathy Freeman make history in the 400m.

 

As a kid living in Sydney, the Olympics were the first time I really felt any sense of pride about where I am from and who we are as a people. After the Olympics ended we won a whole bunch of other shit too. We also didn’t go into recession, live in Wolverhampton or have any riots that lasted longer than a day. The British deserve this. Probably a lot more than we did.

 

Wimbledon is a sea of Union Jack’s. The crowd seem to be more confident that their boy can get up against the same opponent who outclassed him less than a month ago. At the beginning of the third set Murray is up 6-2 6-1. Its an absolute bloodbath, The sun is shining and Great Britain no longer look like sad old rockers reliving past glories. They are vibrant, proud and looking forward to the future. It’s like Cool Britannia but with more energy and less cocaine.

 

Third set. 5-4. Murray has won the first point, Federer the second. Murray with an ace makes it 30-15. Holy shit! Another ace! 40-15! Can he do it? Can Andy Murray win a Gold Medal at the Olympics? He hasn’t won a grand slam title before. Just 28 days ago he lost to Federer in the Wimbledon final.

 

Ace. Against the odds, Andy Murray wins another gold for Team GB.

 

I am so happy there is a nation of people experiencing the sheer joy we had in 2000. In recent years the UK have been through some serious shit, both in the real world and in the realm of sport. London 2012 not only represents a period of great success in the sporting history of Great Britain but a turning point on how the rest of the world see this small yet prolific country.

 

I cant tell if Andy Murray is naturally a super relaxed guy or he is just completely overwhelmed by what he has just done that he has forgotten how to express emotion. One thing is for sure this has been one of the moments of London 2012 for me.

 

Now what to do for the 5 hours before Usain Bolt?